Hospitality Rider ROdgauCasiKingz
The ROCK-Rider provides you with information about the artists’ essential needs and supplies in order to make the stay as convenient as possible for both crew and performers.
Again: the following things are essential for the band’s preparation and performance, they are NON-NEGOTIONABLE.
If something is missing, this will endanger the well-being of anyone responsible.
…nah, just kidding. Or maybe not?
1) Dressing Rooms
[3x] Ego Room/Private Room
Each band member needs one private room with a bathroom, bathtub (hot tub preferred) and/or shower.
Each room should contain: a lounge area (e.g. a bed, sofa, love chair to stretch out on), cushions, blanket.
Freshly washed towels. Big and small ones. Erm, and lots, please.
A selection of Body Shop beauty products (Mango flavour preferred).
Scented candles (anything food flavoured should do: cinnamon roll, chocolate – surprise us!)
Two of the three rooms should contain a package of cigarettes each, as well as ashtrays and lighters. In fact: make it two lighters per room minimum. Wait, the third one needs a lighter too for the candles. You know what: just put an ashtray and a lighter in each room.
Selection of various magazines. Surprise us. But an NME must be!
Full size mirror in each dressing room.
Selection of
Table, chair and mirror for our personal make-up artist Boris Entrup to do his job properly.
Something leathery.
Outside each room we need an empty birdcage. This is needed for non-verbal communication between band members.
NOTE: at no point should there be any bacon around, anywhere.
[1] Music Room/Rock Box/Lurch Box
This will be the main socializing area. So we need furniture to hang out on.
We need music (Anatolian Rock’n’Roll) and a proper stereo system, a DVD-player and DVD’s (Scooter preferred), and the Rock Band game.
Also, we need a Tuba app for symphony hero.
Various instruments are required for rehearsal: guitar, key-tar, xylophone, teapot, melodika, hang, tin whistle, rattlesnake, drumsticks/wooden spoon, vuvuzela. Don’t ask, just do. Creativity knows no boundary, that’s what we need to rock! ♫
Something leathery
And once again: NO BACON!
[1]Escalation Room
Needs to be moshpit proof.
MUST contain: Pen and paper. In fact: lots of pens and lots of paper!
A proper Hate area (provide sandbags)
An equally proper Brain-melting area
A De-materialisator
One conspiracy theorist minimum
Body Ticklers. Many.
Assorted Halloween/carnival costumes
Something leathery
A quibble.
At least one pitbull mops.
A sporting area including set-ups for aggro-dart and agrillard.
And (you’ve heard about this one): NO BACON!
[1]Cheese Room/trailer
Without cheese, this band wouldn’t exist. Without cheese, there will be no performance. Cheese is equally essential to us as oxygen. Therefore a separate room for it is needed. Where this cannot be provided, a cheese trailer will also be accepted. The selection of cheese should include (but is not limited to):
Cheddar (mature, Red
STRICTLY NO BACON IN THE CHEESE ROOM
2) Foods and beverages
We will bring our own chef. He needs supplies. He will tell you about that in detail. But keep Jamie Oliver in mind. He essentially needs free running salt and oregano.
Plus: waffles, mackerel, potatoes (mashed, fried, cooked, roasted: they MUST be there), hummus, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, Mett, Pasta, Schmand, Kebap, spinach, Veschperplatte, cinnamon rolls, butter, Buttersupp, Türkenbüffet, Falafel, Paella, Kumpir-keller, Cookies
One George Foreman Grill minimum.
Numerous bottles of quality wine, colour doesn’t matter (Le Patron – der Gute is preffered; 1,5 litres for 2 Euros, ask your local gas station for further instructions),
Fresh pots erm, I mean: coffee, Zitronentee, Bulmers Pear Cider, Bulmers Apple Cider, Beer, Smoothies, S-C-H-naps
Brad Pitt – eating. ALL THE TIME! Never let Brad run out of food or something to chew.
Please make arrangements for leftover food to be collected by a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter or our roadie that looks like (and actually is) Zac Efron
3) Transportation
We don’t need any police escorts (hello Metallica). That’s ridiculous and unnecessary, thanks. But if Jay-Z can demand a Maybach, we want a horse carriage. Or the Timmousine. Anyways, at least something that qualifies itself as a
4) Personnel
Who we’re travelling with: Jorge, Rolfe, Boris, Kongo-Paul, our chef, our very special producer, Aladin and the Rodgau International Crew (2 to 50 people, depending on the distance of the specific venue to Rodgau)
We want: at least two heavy duty fans (e.g. groupies, MALE and preferably looking like a Jake Gyllenhaal sort of type - consult the ‘Bums-liste’ for further information)
A Masseur (again, Jake Gyllenhaal would be the ideal).
An assemblance of the local Turbojugend (to be placed in the escalation room).
An assemblance of the local Dave-Gröhl-Jugend (to be placed in the escalation room).
Dave Grohl.
A well assorted selection of party hools (to be placed wherever)
When in
Besides, the following people must always and immediately be placed in the private rooms, if around: Gavin Rossdale, PillePallePelle, Jared Leto, Trent Reznor, Matt Bellamy, Dom Howard and/or the Wolstenholme
Matthew Bellamy lately has been investigating a bacon-conspiracy-theory. ONLY IF HE IS AROUND MAY THERE BE BACON.
5) Dress codes/mottos
On Mondays: Springbrunnenwear
On Tuesdays: Calypso Christmas and a hula new year
On Wednesdays: Face no more
On Thursdays: Klaus Stockdale (we need Andrew Stockdale wigs, a normal afro will do à a big afro makes a huge sound!)
On Fridays: Zac-gasm
On Saturdays: Free-hand Spirograph
On Sundays:
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